I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
