I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
do nipples grow back?
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