the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
