He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
