wanna go halves on a baby?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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