get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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