Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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