what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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