Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
