1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
