OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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