This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
