don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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