I'm really into asian looking animals
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
