Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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