What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
