You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
