I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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