I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
