im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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