can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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