Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
