She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
