we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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