Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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