i just wanna soil my oats bro
Life is so much better after having sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
