You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
