Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
