I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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