drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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