definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
