You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
