your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
