well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
