she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
