Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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