The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
