ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
