Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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