I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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