my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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