Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
