my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
