Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
