Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
