Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
did i walk over a car last night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
