what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Who died my cat blue again?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
