she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im holly from the hills drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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