I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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