That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
