Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
