People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
