took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
